QUOTATIONS, taken from the TOSSING FISH TALES:

Beyond superficial similarities, matters of everyday life are often revealed as totally different, and any inclination to dissent comes out as an exercise of brinkmanship.  Suddenly,  questions  arise. For  instance, “Why are the Caucasian inhabitants of Oregon convinced that the cultural history of their country begins with Lewis and Clark?” – or – “Why does Uncle Theo routinely serve the second drink at cocktail hour hopelessly diluted?” | page 12

If anyone asks where we have already  been  within  the  United  States,  we  answer, “Just let us tell you where we have not yet been – Detroit, Tulsa, and St. Louis.” But, there is no denying that a city like Tulsa, Okla., has great potential to be the focus of any satirical episode. | page 13

Our cousin, Jim, is somewhat distressed that I did not mention him more often in my stories. Chin up, Jim; in my next book everything gets better! | page 15

The meeting rooms were located on the first floor. This was very convenient for fishing with your business partners. However, on the conference level, there was the great disadvantage of having no private bathroom to cut and clean your catch. | page 19

“Tell us three Arizona locations you would report  on  in  our  next  issue.”  There  was  nothing  to reflect  on  here.  “Globe,  Steamboat  Canyon, and Show Low,” came my definitive answer, for these were  the  only  Arizona  villages  I  had  never  seen previously mentioned in any edition of their journal. | page 25

But, thank God, he did not complain when I turned our kitchenette into a lab for toad, mushroom and fish toxins. Old Jingle managed to provide me with the necessary laboratory equipment such as glass flasks, distillers and test tubes. Thank goodness he had a close friend who was a glassblower. | page 37

It seemed to us as if every inhabitant of this funky, little town was out on the road and they drove like blind moles. Adhering to the strict speed limit of 25 mph, most of them chose to just drive right down the middle of the road. Paying no mind to traffic wishing to pass, each one drove at a snail’s pace in whichever lane seemed to suit him or her best. | page 46

Slowly maneuvering backwards, the vehicle dragged the lifeless whale away from the tide and toward the back of the beach. There the whale peace- fully lay in solitude. At this point we recognized that it was a grey whale. As the driver of the excavator began to dig a huge hole about 30 meters away from the cadaver, it became immediately apparent that I needed to act quickly. | page 54

I hurried back to my park office and made the decision to contact the press. The very next day, the Vancou- ver Sun featured a story with the following headline: “Grizzlies Back in Stanley Park.” The subtitle read: “Curator intends to shoot them with tranquilizer guns and sell them to the zoo at Kelowna.” | page 64